You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
