Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
