I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
