The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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