apparently the secret to your success is patron
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize