I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
