For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
ttyl tear gas
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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