Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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