She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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