oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
