Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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