The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
