Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
If I had your ass I would rule the world
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
