Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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