You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize