sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
