Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
