we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
