Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Just fell off a train. Bad.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
