under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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