JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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