Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize