its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
