he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
