and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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