I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Randomize
