My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
