it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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