Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize