I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
