so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
you had me at cake vodka
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
