So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
