He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
We need to get me chipped asap
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
