Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
