This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
