When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
i wish my penis had a tongue
We need to rekindle our bromance
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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