sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
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