Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
You are a booty call, not a friend.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
