Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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