I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
