She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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