Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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