I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Randomize
