a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
