He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
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