I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
