Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
