well most of my day revolves around power hour
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
