that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
