420 ftw
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize