you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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