my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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