We need to rekindle our bromance
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
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