you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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