best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
