i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
