she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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