How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
