Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
