this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
