These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
